What's with the promise of 72 virgins promised to the suicide boys of islam?
Have you heard anything sillier than 72 virgins in paradise awaiting killers of innocent civilians?
That pretty much says all I need to know about islam.
There is something sick about this......
But we can have a few laughs......
Here are 72 questions to ask the boy who wants to be a suicide bomber.
Or ask the perverted Mullah who told the boys the lie, just to get them to die.
Why doesn''t Bin Lardin want 72 virgins?
1) What if the bomber wants girls with more experience?
2) What if one virgin is no good in bed? Does she get replaced or is he stuck with 71?
3) If he's gay, does he get male virgins?
4) What if he's celibate? What does he get?
5) What if he hasn't reached puberty yet? Does he get 72 Xboxes till he comes of age?
6) If he's bi, does he get 36 of each?
7) If he blows himself up while building the bomb, does he still get credit?
8) What do you call a relationship with 72 women, a menage-a-soixante-deux?
9) Are they like 72 wives or 1 wife and 71 concubines?
10) What if he's ugly or smells bad and the virgins don't want anything to do with him?
11) Is there Viagra in paradise? Ya know, just in case?
12) Is there an age of consent?
13) When they're deflowered, do they get replaced by new virgins or are they "born again"?
14) Do they become his common-law wives eventually?
15) If he has a tryst with a 73rd virgin, do the others consider it cheating?
16) Do the virgins have a union? If so, can they strike if they're not satisfied?
17) Is there a temp agency that replaces virgins if they call in sick?
18) What if the bomber's into animals? Does he get accommodated?
19) Why 72? Is 71 too few? Is 73 too many?
20) If it was a female bomber, how do the male virgins prove their virginity?
21) What happens when paradise runs out of virgins?
22) Can a bomber make reservations on specific virgins before he blows himself up?
23) If there are no virgins available, is he put on a waiting list?
24) If he's a catholic priest, does he get 72 little boys?
25) Would you call a female bomber a bombshell?
26) Would you call a child bomber a bombino?
27) Is it not 73 out of respect for Barry Bond's home run record?
28) If the bomber previously dated one of the virgins, does it get awkward?
29) Do they have a bomb squad in paradise just in case one of the charges didn't go off?
30) Did they start using female bombers because they ran out of virgins for the guys?
31) If she's a lesbian, do they "convert" the virgins, or will straight girls suffice her?
32) Does a hermaphrodite bomber get hermaphrodite virgins?
33) If so, are there 72 available?
34) If they run out of virgins, do they get inflatable dolls till they find more?
35) If a bomber finds an infidel in paradise, can he blow him up and get 72 more virgins?
36) Could the Koran have had a typo and it actually provided just one 72 year old virgin?
37) Is Muslim hell being one of the 72 virgins?
38) Instead of 72 guys, would a female bomber settle for 1 man who does dishes and garbage?
39) Do the bombers go broke on Valentine's Day?
40) If he's monogamous, does he pick one of the 72 or does he get a supermodel?
41) What if he doesn't like either gender? Does he just klutz around in paradise?
42) Eternity is long, and eventually he'll grow bored of his 72 women. What happens then?
43) How does he pick the 72 to begin with? Lottery? Beauty pageant? Police lineup?
44) Is he allowed to covet his neighbor's virgins?
45) Do the virgins have agents and/or contracts?
46) If so, can a virgin request to be traded or put on waivers if she's unhappy?
47) What should he say if one of the virgins asks "Does this Burka make me look fat?"
48) If he gives the wrong answer, is he uh, screwed?
49) How is anyone expected to handle a catfight amongst 72 women?
50) Did the 9/11 hijackers who didn't know they were going to die get 72 virgins too?
51) Are scouts employed to find virgin talent?
52) Do the virgins ever retire, or do they remain virgins forever?
53) If they retire, what kind of pension plan do they get?
54) Wouldn't it be interesting if they're virgins because they're ugly?
55) So is it 72 Muslim girls or like 1 virgin from every culture?
56) Wouldn't it be sweet if Lorena Bobbitt got hired as one of the virgins?
57) What does Gloria Steinem have to say about all this?
58) When he gets home, does he have to say "How was your day?" to all 72 virgins?
59) Do they have counseling for sexual addiction in paradise?
60) If the virgins start hogging the remote, is he in hell?
61) They must take up an entire theater when they go to the movies, huh?
62) Are there restaurants in paradise that can accommodate a reservation for 73?
63) If a virgin suffers from multiple personalities, is she considered two virgins?
64) Does he get all the virgins at once, or do they have an installment plan?
65) Is the bomber entitled to substitutes, exchanges, or refunds?
66) What if all the king's horses and all the king's men can't put the bomber together again?
67) Is "not tonight, dear, I have a headache" a valid excuse in paradise?
68) Do the virgins come with a warranty?
69) If so, does paradise replace defective parts and provide on-site service?
70) What do you call a lifetime warranty if you're dead?
71) Do siamese twin bombers get 144 virgins?
72) Who gets to clean up all those nasty sheets?
No this is not original, I had to rip it from this page....to share. This is from a favorite forum of mine.
Here is where I found this
Have you heard anything sillier than 72 virgins in paradise awaiting killers of innocent civilians?
That pretty much says all I need to know about islam.
There is something sick about this......
But we can have a few laughs......
Here are 72 questions to ask the boy who wants to be a suicide bomber.
Or ask the perverted Mullah who told the boys the lie, just to get them to die.
Why doesn''t Bin Lardin want 72 virgins?
1) What if the bomber wants girls with more experience?
2) What if one virgin is no good in bed? Does she get replaced or is he stuck with 71?
3) If he's gay, does he get male virgins?
4) What if he's celibate? What does he get?
5) What if he hasn't reached puberty yet? Does he get 72 Xboxes till he comes of age?
6) If he's bi, does he get 36 of each?
7) If he blows himself up while building the bomb, does he still get credit?
8) What do you call a relationship with 72 women, a menage-a-soixante-deux?
9) Are they like 72 wives or 1 wife and 71 concubines?
10) What if he's ugly or smells bad and the virgins don't want anything to do with him?
11) Is there Viagra in paradise? Ya know, just in case?
12) Is there an age of consent?
13) When they're deflowered, do they get replaced by new virgins or are they "born again"?
14) Do they become his common-law wives eventually?
15) If he has a tryst with a 73rd virgin, do the others consider it cheating?
16) Do the virgins have a union? If so, can they strike if they're not satisfied?
17) Is there a temp agency that replaces virgins if they call in sick?
18) What if the bomber's into animals? Does he get accommodated?
19) Why 72? Is 71 too few? Is 73 too many?
20) If it was a female bomber, how do the male virgins prove their virginity?
21) What happens when paradise runs out of virgins?
22) Can a bomber make reservations on specific virgins before he blows himself up?
23) If there are no virgins available, is he put on a waiting list?
24) If he's a catholic priest, does he get 72 little boys?
25) Would you call a female bomber a bombshell?
26) Would you call a child bomber a bombino?
27) Is it not 73 out of respect for Barry Bond's home run record?
28) If the bomber previously dated one of the virgins, does it get awkward?
29) Do they have a bomb squad in paradise just in case one of the charges didn't go off?
30) Did they start using female bombers because they ran out of virgins for the guys?
31) If she's a lesbian, do they "convert" the virgins, or will straight girls suffice her?
32) Does a hermaphrodite bomber get hermaphrodite virgins?
33) If so, are there 72 available?
34) If they run out of virgins, do they get inflatable dolls till they find more?
35) If a bomber finds an infidel in paradise, can he blow him up and get 72 more virgins?
36) Could the Koran have had a typo and it actually provided just one 72 year old virgin?
37) Is Muslim hell being one of the 72 virgins?
38) Instead of 72 guys, would a female bomber settle for 1 man who does dishes and garbage?
39) Do the bombers go broke on Valentine's Day?
40) If he's monogamous, does he pick one of the 72 or does he get a supermodel?
41) What if he doesn't like either gender? Does he just klutz around in paradise?
42) Eternity is long, and eventually he'll grow bored of his 72 women. What happens then?
43) How does he pick the 72 to begin with? Lottery? Beauty pageant? Police lineup?
44) Is he allowed to covet his neighbor's virgins?
45) Do the virgins have agents and/or contracts?
46) If so, can a virgin request to be traded or put on waivers if she's unhappy?
47) What should he say if one of the virgins asks "Does this Burka make me look fat?"
48) If he gives the wrong answer, is he uh, screwed?
49) How is anyone expected to handle a catfight amongst 72 women?
50) Did the 9/11 hijackers who didn't know they were going to die get 72 virgins too?
51) Are scouts employed to find virgin talent?
52) Do the virgins ever retire, or do they remain virgins forever?
53) If they retire, what kind of pension plan do they get?
54) Wouldn't it be interesting if they're virgins because they're ugly?
55) So is it 72 Muslim girls or like 1 virgin from every culture?
56) Wouldn't it be sweet if Lorena Bobbitt got hired as one of the virgins?
57) What does Gloria Steinem have to say about all this?
58) When he gets home, does he have to say "How was your day?" to all 72 virgins?
59) Do they have counseling for sexual addiction in paradise?
60) If the virgins start hogging the remote, is he in hell?
61) They must take up an entire theater when they go to the movies, huh?
62) Are there restaurants in paradise that can accommodate a reservation for 73?
63) If a virgin suffers from multiple personalities, is she considered two virgins?
64) Does he get all the virgins at once, or do they have an installment plan?
65) Is the bomber entitled to substitutes, exchanges, or refunds?
66) What if all the king's horses and all the king's men can't put the bomber together again?
67) Is "not tonight, dear, I have a headache" a valid excuse in paradise?
68) Do the virgins come with a warranty?
69) If so, does paradise replace defective parts and provide on-site service?
70) What do you call a lifetime warranty if you're dead?
71) Do siamese twin bombers get 144 virgins?
72) Who gets to clean up all those nasty sheets?
No this is not original, I had to rip it from this page....to share. This is from a favorite forum of mine.
Here is where I found this
posted by web_loafer at 8:50 PM
11 Comments:
that ain't funny, and we've got your ip, address, phone # and a google earth map of your house. We'll be dropping by.
That's hillarious! Thanks for sharing it.
Soixante-doux = 62 not 72, bonehead.
ah yes...another racist myth taken as fact by those who know absolutely nothing about a particular religion or its teachings.
Right up there with Jews sacrificing babies and Christians engaging in canabalism.
I only shared this Jay, because there is a element of humor in it, as well as tragedy. If you read the peice carefully, it hurts.....Why would a mother or father let their son or daughter strap on a suicide belt?
I would slit my own throat before I would encourage a young person to kill themselves and take as many Jews out at the same time as they could. And tell them they will go to paradise and be met by virgins??????
Put on your thinking cap Jay, you are not dumb, think, please. Would you encourage a young person to become a bomb??????
No, I don't think you would.
I didn't write it, but it is funny.
It is not hateful, it just uses the truth, and twists it into humor.
I can direct you to a site hosted by a Christian minister here in Topeka. Would you assume that what he preaches represents your religion, your values, your beliefs?
Religion is often twisted and used by evil men to influence the passions of passive followers. That's not the fault of the religion or those that place their faith in a particular theism.
Know who your enemy is. It isn't Islam.
Jay, I know lots about the Phelps family of whom you speak. In fact here is the link to a blog entry of mine that you may want to read.
I Weep For Kansas
It's obviously a lot more complicated than '72 virgins.' Al-Qaeda is closer to being a radical form of Greenpeace than Heaven's Gate.
Oh, my, Adam, you didn't say that did you?
Al-Qaeda leaves neighborhoods with the stench and smoke of bombs and burning human flesh. Have you seen some of the ecodisasters that the muslim extremists leave behind. They care not a whiff for the planet earth. They set petroleum pipelines on fire. When Saddam's Republican Guard left Kuwait in '91, they left the biggest enviromental disaster of the 1990's behind. Burning oil wells, poisioned water in the rivers, they even deliberally pumped sewage into the Persian Gulf. The Greenies were nowhere to be seen. They won't show their faces anywhere but safe places. There is no Muslim country you can name that cares a whiff about the planet earth....I know you were kidding. You had to have been.
Think this one out my friend, if the world was 100% Muslim, would you enjoy living in that world?
I don't think so, I like capitalist countries, with freedom and a love for the earth. I love the smell of my country, the sewage treated, the dead buried and the smell of capitalism. MMMMMmmmm my country smells good. The one thing most American world travelers mention upon return to America????
That is my next contest question, not really, if you know any world travelers, ask them how the middle east smells.
Have your ips, url,ss#,home address,credit card numbers,employer,parents,siblings,credit rating and much more. And it only cost us $64 American.
Actually that "myth" might come from near-death experiences, and the spiritual realms that prophets often are in touch with.
Take a look at my blog on this subject.
I think if terrorists knew what was REALLY in store for scaring and killing people, if they knew how JUSTICE is served in the spiritual realms, you wouldn't see this distortion of faith.
Check it out:
http://christianliberal.wordpress.com/2008/09/12/on-terrorism-martyrs-and-virgins-oh-my/
Example:
“The first thing I saw was my angry childhood. I saw myself torturing other children, stealing their bicycles or making them miserable at school. One of the most vivid scenes was of the time I picked on a child at grade school because he had a goiter that protruded from his neck. The other kids in the class picked on him too, but I was the worst. At the time I thought I was funny. But now, as I relived this incident, I found myself in his body, living with the pain that I was causing. This perspective continued through every negative incident in my childhood, a substantial number to be sure. From fifth to twelfth grade, I estimate I had at least six thousand fistfights. Now, as I reviewed my life in the bosom of the Being, I relived each of those altercations, but with one major difference: I was the receiver.”
- Dannion Brinkley, Saved by the Light
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